We’ve been making homemade pizza since 2012 in a variety of different ways. The dedication has increased in various increments. I thought things had really been taken up a notch with the purchase of a rounded cast iron pan, which proved very effective on frozen and freshly made pizzas alike. With hundreds of coats of olive oil applied, this beast of a pan had proven its worth and ability in crafting all types of domestic ‘Za.

But, alas, a plateau had been reached that left me feeling no need to dig deeper or further into the possibilities of making pizza at home. What for? I had found a perfect way to enjoy Wegman’s line of wood-fired Nepolitan-style frozen pizzas…

And then, something happened. Maybe it was something in the air I breathed or the water I drank, but the lofty, wishful thinking of irresponsibility coupled with an innate desire for decadence had finally taken root in a way that I could no longer escape:

I decided to pull the trigger on an Ooni Pizza Oven. It is a device that is DESIGNED for pizza craft and pizza worship, but by no means limited to just Pizza. However, in order for the temple to remain pure, only dough, sauce, cheese, and whatever toppings along with it should be allowed entrance into its hot gates.

I was told by others who have taken this journey that it wouldn’t be an easy conquest. So many new factors reared their collective ugly heads. We needed to worry about fuel, timing, and tools in ways that we had taken for granted with the now seemingly novice avenue of rounded cast-iron pan in the oven.

These notions tempered my expectations for our Ooni’s maiden voyage. In the end, I was not prepared for the results that could only be measured by quoting Sonny Chiba as Hattori Hanzō in Kill Bill Vol. 1: “I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.”

This is by far the finest homemade pizza we’ve ever made. It is equivalent to any Neapolitan pie I have ordered in a restaurant. And while there was some moisture build-up from using whole milk mozzarella, none of it penetrated the crust at the bottom, which stood at crispy, horizontal attention, perfectly charred from the wood fire we used as fuel.

After this experience, pizza will never be the same again. For now, if the decision to eat out reaches a conclusion of pizza, so too does a reversal of the decision to eat out.